Today, you are in a framed world, we wish u on yr bday 🎂🎂 as we look up above, in virtual space. u’ve touched lives, u’ve touched hearts in ways ull never know, yr warm n hearty wishes we’ll miss, coffee times, cricket, sports n movie chats, gk n more. Your hands always blessing us, the twinkle in your eyes, now in the sky, yr Jokes, singing ayee bahar, your mudra movements, yr doing pooja, ayyappa bhajans, yr enquiries abot each one of us, yr smiling n happy face when we visited. So many precious moments. Yesterday no more. Daddy we miss u so much, amma n us all. The pain is endless, tears overflowing. Happy birthday Appa as u watch us with bhagavan. Guide n bless us as u always do. We promise to continue to live by the values u taught us by yr example. You n amma always… Om shanthi daddy n happy bday 🎂🎂 to u. Always with namaskarams: kamala, raji Viji balaji n families❤️🌹
conversations with my father in empty space
A father is a girl’s first boy friend..mine was a simple, straightforward n blunt individual. His life was an amalgam of struggle, pain, n more..a family man to the core..daddy (MVS) had a sharp mind, a phenomenal memory, , a loving husband n father to us 3 siblings..fair minded brother, uncle n more…his bark was worse than his bite in his younger days, mellowed with age..till the end..sharp, methodical..words can’t convey about our daddy..u can love or hate him. But u could never ignore or forget him…. An era has passed into the sunset.. yesterday evening at 18.20 hrs IST, love u appa ure irreplaceable..guide n bless us from above. Adieu daddy adieu…
A father’s love.. in his own unique way
The younger daughter speaks….the middle child..
Where do I even begin as I reflect on a dearly loved father.. gone 2 days ago… the memories intrude every second.. his loving face peeping in…his gruff voice beckons me… daddy where are you? We wanted to bring u home , I sensed yr end was near when u were taken to hospital.. ive always been scared, if those i loved went to hospital… it turned out to be true three days later one Wednesday evening in may 19, 2021.. we had hoped no pain to scald u.. u fought on.. we cdnt see u.. u who always welcomed everyone in gruff but loving words, a wink or two… appa miss u pa, so much ;
he was one proud papa when he saw my getting my phd at my convocation on dec 2, 2002, the only family member to see me at my moment of academic achievement, the only girl from all sides to get this..i only have a memory.. no photo even…seeing and holding my phd degree certificate… but it’s ok.. he was there with me.. though we couldn’t sit together..same place same time, same day… I could not ask for more..it was his prodding and encouragement initially.. from registration of phd course through my data collection and more…his and my moms support…through a major part of my phd, the real slogging..
he accepted me for what i had and could do, though of course expectations were more
unconditional love, scoldings from babyhood till 51…caring , concerned about health, life , family and more… he was innocent in many ways, but what a sharp and phenomenal memory till the very end.
10 june 2021
Daddy daddy… your final troubles began last month this day…u fell down from bed… who would have thought it was the beginning of the end… u had always risen above all that.. little did we know.. even yr strong determination and control could not keep pace with yr physical limitations and yr advanced age!!! Appa… each day a memory swells me.. each moment, mundane things intrude… kamala… yr voice rings out…. Coffee times, paper reading moments…cutting of mangoes, puja times, so many “little, little things matter u always told… be organized… don’t procrastinate or postpone, lets agree to disagree ”….. oft repeated advice miss u pa.. so much… today I was listening to a long tribute cum video by spb charan to spb sir who succumbed to covid last year…spb sir on my lappy.. and u in photo frame across the room… I shared the video to bala and lalli and amma….its 11pm now appa… im not able to sleep.. each mg I wake up at 3 … thookam varalla.. dunno why…. Im drenched in sweat… ha ha I always sweat like buckets.. u used to laugh and make jokes too…little things daddy… that song u always sang lalli shared dat video… my hindi is zero… I realized it was the same song… rajkumar in between that always stuck in the song for me….ill keep writing like this daddy when I can… it feels goodto chat with u… though ure not beside me… some days I cant its always in my head… I videocalled amma this evening… she’s ok she misses u daddy so very much… we all do in our own ways.. our private grieving….i don’t know how to tell.. who to tell… mugil understands me so too ram… they let me be…. I cry.. as I write and as I remember… for a father who cared.. who understood…. The little things matter… always good night daddy.. I know its late.. but I got caught up in that video and thinking of u… still got dishes to wash… little things matter le… life has to go on….u always said that too.. we gotta take things as they come….good night appa love u always ure in our hearts and minds always… u smile at me from yr framed photo behind me… bless us and guide us daddy..as u always do… keep our family together and safe and healthy….om sairam
17 june 2021
Coffee, cricket, cinema, MVS… I’m caught in a time warp…we all are,
Caught between dreams, wants , needs and desires,
Remembrance is a chain of memories, moments, chats,
Photos, jokes, discussions, laughter, anger,
touching, feeling, eating, watching, being together..
Searching, words, so easy to use, someone said, is it? Harsh words, gentle words, strong words, joking words, there are many,
Easy to write? I don’t know.
For me, words tumble out, as I see u daddy, but from pain
Of losing you, so suddenly, so far , where we couldn’t see you,
Your laughing, searching eyes, your moving fingers, your words of assurance and advice, to still, my rumbling, rambling doubts…
- Life’s a challenge. face it you always said
- We got to make the best of any situation: good, bad and ugly
- Look ahead; learn from your mistakes
- Count your blessings, be grateful
- Enjoy life’s simple pleasures
- Agree to disagree
- Take things as they come
- Every detail is important
- Little things matter
- Make the best of any situation, give your 100% effort
- Have faith in god too, faith and prayer makes the world move around
- Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration you quoted Einstein.
The past is immutable, the present is to move forward and the future beckons.. you showed appa in numerous ways.. we may not have known then, but we know now.. You always were right appa.
A new month has begun , life has to go on..
Today u would have been 86.. we would have been phoning or videocalling
You to wish you…. This year it won’t be , for God took you away
To keep you safe, from harm’s way… God took you away from us..
We are grieving… but we will continue to be guided by the values
You showed us by your example…
Happy birthday daddy as u celebrate in your heavenly home
U’ve touched hearts
U’ve touched lives
In ways ull never know
We r better people for
Having known you, dearest daddy
You were the very best
Moles, warts and all
As long as we live, u’re in our hearts n minds
Forever. Thank you Daddy for everything for being a Unique You. Blessed n proud to be MVS n KVS’s children
om shanthi om shanthi